I've sat looking at my computer for over an hour. I've considered several opening lines in my efforts to explain my absence. It's been almost three weeks now since I've posted or stamped. At times it seems like three years ago, and yet at moments like this it seems like yesterday.
My Mom went into the hospital the week before Christmas. I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day with her, sure that she would be on the road to recovery, but that was not the road she took. We were blessed with two more days after Christmas where she was awake to visit with us and my daughters, and she passed away quietly in her sleep January 4, 2010. Her funeral was yesterday. She was a fighter till the end. She fought and won a battle with cancer 15 years ago; one that despite the win, took it's toll on her body and health.
She was a beautiful woman who taught me so much about love and life. I spent every minute I could with her and watched with joy as she shared herself with my daughers, who are her only her only grandchildren. She spoiled them rotten and I couldn't have been happier that she could.
It is so hard to let her go. Those of you who frequent my blog, you know that I am a Momma's Girl. I loved her dearly and treasured every moment I spent with her. I considered every day and every year a gift. I wanted more than anything for my girls to have a relationship with this amazing woman, who loved them like crazy. And they loved their Nana. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I can honestly say I have no regrets. I did this one right.
This has been very hard on all my family. My Dad lost his wife of 49 years and my brother and sister are also missing Mom desparately. Being with them the past few weeks has been comforting, and I know her legacy of family values will keep us close and allow us to heal together.
Life goes on, and while memories still evoke tears instead of smiles, I have two active girls who help me "keep it real", and a husband who has been so supportive and understanding. I will return to stamping soon. It's always been an amazing therapy for me, and I look forward to releasing myself to it again and finding a new normal.
As I close, let me leave you with one thought. I got this right, because I/we knew that her time with us was limited. We were blessed with 15 more years than we expected, and we cherished each day with her as though it could be our last. We are all dying. From the moment we are born, we begin the process of dying. Be grateful for each day you have with your loved ones; bite your tongue and swallow your pride; cherish each moment and be generous with your love. And you will have much love and no regrets.
Laura
